The National Olive Grove of Albanian Property

By Filip Çakuli

In Albania we have finally solved the 35-year-old property problem.

Not with the Cadastre.

Not with a court.

Not with a map.

With olive trees!

Two businessmen are fighting over a plot of land in Palasë. One says: ‘It’s mine, I bought it.’ He even says he bought part of it twice. The other shows up with his own documents and his own project.

The state, meanwhile, is in the middle.

The Cadastre issues documents. The AZHT reviews projects. The KKTU makes decisions. The investor gets strategic status. Architects design. Marketing sells villas. Builders build.

And in the end the state asks:

‘But whose land is it?’

This is just like the notary marrying you and, after the wedding, saying:

— Wait a moment, let me check whether the bride was already married!

But Palasë has another miracle.

The official document for the ‘Delta Falaise’ project speaks of about 258,000 square meters, of which 26,000 private and about 232,000 square meters claimed to be state property.

So we have private, state, AMTP, certificates, strategic investor, permits, applications, overlaps…

Only one small thing is missing:

Knowing whose the land is.

Then the businessmen clash.

And here the Albanian state appears like Zeus in Greek tragedies: it descends from the sky and resolves the drama.

— Enough! We will expropriate!

Very nice.

But whom will we expropriate?

The first?

The second?

Both?

And the olive-grove solution is magnificent.

More precisely, ‘The Majesty of Folly’, as Erasmus of Rotterdam said.

Instead of discovering who owns the property, we take the property.

Instead of discovering who erred at the Cadastre, we plant olive trees.

Instead of discovering who signed what, we produce olive oil.

Only one sign is needed at the entrance of the future park:

‘THE NATIONAL OLIVE GROVE OF ALBANIAN PROPERTY’

Below it: ‘Here rest in peace two AMTPs, several property certificates, several tourism projects and the eternal Albanian question: WHOSE IS THE LAND?’

And a smaller sign: ‘Please do not touch the olive trees. The owner might turn up.’

And, to avoid any misunderstanding, a state counter could also be placed at the entrance:

‘To enter the olive grove, present your property document.’

If you have two documents, go to the second counter.

If you have three, take a number.

If you have none, don’t worry: the state will give you a project, a permit and a strategic status.

Then, when you build the villa, it will ask you:

— Very nice. But who told you the land was yours?

And if you answer ‘The Cadastre’, they will point you to the nearest olive tree.

Because in Albania property is no longer settled by law.

It is settled by photosynthesis.

We don’t ask about the essence, we care about trifles. Like the man who tells his wife from the hospital that a car had hit him, with three broken ribs, leg and arms in casts. I would have died on the road, but Lola happened by with her car and brought me to the hospital. The wife asks, who is Lola…